# General beekeeping > Bee blether >  Who is the agent provocateur on this site collecting material for Borats next film ?

## Calum

Hi
I think it must be either Gavin or Jon with Nellie a close third....
What do you think?
Borat the Beekeeper will start a global crusaide (cruise to aid) from a small Scottish island in a biodegradeable corricle. It will all end in him crashing an oiltanker into america filled with european raver ecoterrorists. These will spread out and infiltrate all levels of goverment and industry slipping ecstacy into tea urns. Once the leaders of industry and goverment are 'loved up' they will see the light and stop their badness. It will all fail because no baddies drink tea in USA.

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## Neils

I'm not sure what you've been drinking, but can I have some?  :Big Grin:

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## Calum

aha your vile attemts at villifying my sobriety out you as the agent. You are undone. Never use the internet again say I, or add a storyline..  :Smile:

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## Jon

Well if he has ever had a drink his opinion is obviously compromised and he should hereby withdraw from posting on any threads which mention ethanol in any of its glorious presentations.
I imagine there are plenty of total abstinence and temperance threads where Nellie could make a useful and impartial contribution.

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## Neils

Absti what now?

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## Calum

Hugo the beekeeper did not take on the yoke of beekeeping to make friends. And by the way, he didn't. 
In his formative beekeeping years he kept his bees in TBHs and stuck to the mantra of -Whenever we was about to do something, he'd think, "Would an idiot do that?" And if they would, he would not do that thing. 
As even idiots treat varroa his losses were high, but there are a huge number of yeast infections in his county. Probably because it is downriver from that old bread factory. So he was sure it was the yeast infections killing all his bees. 
Not having a lot of experience with vampires, but having hunted werewolves - he shot one once, but by the time he got to it, it had turned back into his neighbor's dog. He decided to go up river and deal with that bread factory. So he travelled to New Zealand. And walked the Lord of the Rings trail to Mordor.  you can take it from there... _blatant cut and edit of the Best Dwight Schrute Quotes_

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## Jon

I worked with a guy in Mexico who argued with me that a resident of his village could change himself into a cat or a dog by night and the more I argued with him the more he became convinced that I was a fool. The guy who replaced him as farm manager argued with me that the fish in the pond would cross with the tadpoles and degenerate the race and it was imperative to remove the 'poles.
It takes all sorts in this world.
What the hell do I know as these guys clearly had inside track information without needing any pesky evidence.

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## Jimbo

Callum, just read your post over my cornflakes. Do you know you can get medication these days that may help you

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## prakel

you go to sleep after a normal day and then wake up in some twilight world where nothing appears to be as you remember it. are we here seeing the first visible effects of pesticide-ridden meals or is it the result of gm foods?

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## gavin

Both, more than likely.

I should admit that Calum managed to find a place on the forum where he could post but no-one but the Admin and Moderators could see it.  I brought it out into the open last night.  It was an interesting trick, but I'll not reveal the secret in case too many of you use it to confuse the unwary.  Whole threads emerging from the underworld to perplex the casual reader.  

As for the content, well .... I'm with Jimbo.

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## Calum

welcome to the dark side of my moon. Really disappoited noone is adding to the story, maybe Doris will have a go..
real life *IS* freakier than the stuff that goes on in my head. I know I implement enough of it...

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## kevboab

Calum, do you brew whatever it is that you are drinking at home?? If so, could you please post the recipe.

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## Calum

Just regular mead where the fermentation went badly wrong. Anyone can make it.
Put a shiny shilling in a bucket with 2-3 Pints homebrew gone wrong, fill with Absinth till you can't see the shilling (or the bottom of the bucket if you think you'll be fielding assetrations about GM & Pesticides) then add gin or whatever till you see the shilling again (it may not be shiny anymore).
Pour out into a glass, fruit fun straw and parasol are optional. 
do not shake vigourously or let near a naked flame. Drink in well ventilated room.

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## madasafish

It's inbreeding what does it.

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## Calum

I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doin' a goat, couple of pigs watching.

sure wasn't inbreeding.

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## The Drone Ranger

> I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doin' a goat, couple of pigs watching.
> 
> sure wasn't inbreeding.


were the pigs dogging

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## The Drone Ranger

I'm trying some outcrossing with wasps and back crossing with hornets to get some new genetic material in the mix

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## Calum

> I'm trying some outcrossing with wasps and back crossing with hornets to get some new genetic material in the mix


don't dare monsanto patented that already!

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## Silvbee

> I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doin' a goat, couple of pigs watching.
> 
> sure wasn't inbreeding.


I believe thats dwight from the american office.

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## Calum

> I believe thats dwight from the american office.


see post #6 in this thread for the motherload...

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## madasafish

It's not inbreeding but magic mushrooms...

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## Jon

Looks like Steve 'Borat' Rose might have to fill that polytunnel with goats and hens again if the forecast for Wales is accurate.

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## Neils

I'm going to use my apiary to keep goldfish, no conversion required

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## Rosie

They had 100mm rain in Aberystwyth, about 40 miles from here but we escaped lightly.  All the stock are happily occupying their normal residences.  Unfortunately most of Friday's grafts failed to take, probably due to the wintry conditions, so I'll have  to start again.

I am running a beginner's course this weekend and had to inspect a colony in windy, dull conditions at 13 degs C but thankfully the bees didn't let me down.  

Rosie

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